thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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