we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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