I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
