My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
