I wanna bring you to show and tell
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize