butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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