Those balls look pretty dangerous.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We left the knife in your bed.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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