So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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