"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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