She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
