Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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