ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
