Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
