on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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