It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
