member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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