I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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