We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
