I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
