fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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