so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hippo gnu deer
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
