I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
