wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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