Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
