thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize