im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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