I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
