That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
