So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
