i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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