Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
