Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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