i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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