i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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