Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
