What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
