Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
