It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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