Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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