At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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