Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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