Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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