smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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