I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
