Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
