You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
kristin has been a bad kristin
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
