i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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