Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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