i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
