So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
