your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize