I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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