Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
