oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize