Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
