Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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