They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So vagazzling was a success
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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