i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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