It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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