I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
