Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize