he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
