My cat gives me a boner
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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