i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
