Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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