another moral hangover. fuck.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize